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Some Personal Reflections on Black History Month 2011: Drum Majors, Artists, and the Art of Leadership

Drum Majors, Artists, and the Art of Leadership

 Though African American drum majors abound in many fields, I want to take a few moments to comment about drum majors who are artists and African-American, and from whom we can learn some things about the art of leadership. At the end of this section I also give special recognition to five artists, with whom I have a personal connection: Langston Hughes, Madge Sinclair, Whitney Houston, the musical recording artists Imajin, and Sammy Davis, Jr.

Famous African-American artists include, for example, the painter Henry O. Tanner  (whose  most famous  painting may be The Banjo Lesson,  but whose painting of the Atlantic City seashore was the first work of an African-American artist hanging in the White House), writers/poets such as Maya Angelou[1] , photographers such as Moneta Sleet and Gordon Parks   , and the dancers in the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater[2]                                             performing “Revelations”[3] are all artists who have at least three things in common: (1) In order to create, each of these artists met the challenge of  going outside the box of the conventional; (2) Each of these artists, in their respective mediums, showed us how to think about and create things as a higher form of expression of ourselves; (3) As  drum majors in their respective fields,  each of these artists  offer us leadership legacy lessons. For me, the writer Sharon Parks, brilliantly captures and tells us informs us about leadership lessons we can learn from artists. Parks states:

“Those who think of themselves as artists in the conventional sense of the word [include] painters, sculptors, musicians, writers, architects, photographers…. The power and qualities of the artist [include] the ability to work on an edge, in an interdependent relationship with the medium, with a capacity for creative improvisation. Entrepreneurs and some politicians, physicians, and educators are akin to artists, seeking to bring into being what has not yet taken form. Within any profession, one of the primary characteristics of the artistry of leadership is the willingness to work on an edge—the edge between the familiar and the emergent….working the edge place between known problems and unknown solutions. University professor Ronald A. Heifetz honors this edge when he speaks of the capacity to lead with only good questions in hand—and that acts of leadership require the ability to walk the razor’s edge without getting your feet too cut up—working that edge place between known problems and unknown solutions, between popularity and anxious hostility. Artistic leadership is able to remain curious and creative in the complexity and chaos of swamp issues, often against the odds… Those who practice adaptive leadership must confront, disappoint, and dismantle and at the same time energize, inspire, and empower. The creativity that emerges from working on this paradoxical edge is integral to adaptive work, building out of what has come before, yet stirring into being something new and unprecedented—the character of leadership that is needed at this threshold time in human history.”[4]

 I now turn to the five artists with whom I have a personnel connection.

  • Langston Hughes   . I have a special feeling for Langston because of a kindness from him. When I was a participant in the Foreign Affairs Scholars Program at the U.S. State Department, and Langston was giving a debriefing on a trip abroad, I asked him if he would speak to the scholars and that I and my three roommates—Howard Norris (Fisk University), Raymond Dean Jones (Colorado University and later a law school classmate) and Love B. Johnson (Texas Southern University) would pick him up at his hotel and take him to dinner if he would do so. Langston agreed with one proviso: Johnny Walker Red had to be one of the libations at the talk. We readily agreed. Langston‘s talk was enlightening and entertaining. As an unexpected thank you for our hospitality, Langston later mailed to the homes of each of his four hosts an autographed copy of one of his books. He sent “I Wonder As I Wander” to me, with this accompanying thank you note:

 

  • Madge Sinclair[5]

]   Madge’s neice, Margaret Ann, is married to my brother-in-law Ray. Madge is probably best remembered for her role as Belle in the film “Roots”, as Queen Aeoleon in the film,”Coming to America”, and as Captain of the U.S.S. Saratoga in the Star Trek movie “The Voyage Home”. The fourth picture above is Madge at Margaret Ann and Ray’s wedding. She is pictured next to my son Michael, who thought she was very, very pretty and he became very shy. Even at such an early age, my son showed his insightful intelligence and appreciation for beauty. When I first got into the movie businesss, Madge was kind enough to meet with me and give me invaluable insights into the entertainment industry, the kind you would not find in any of the multi-day entertainment law seminars I have taken,  or any multi-volume treatise I have read, or in the process of rights acquistion or other transactional agreements I have negotiated. Some of those insights—know the deal but just as importantly, if not more so, know who you are dealing with; don’t be a “suit”; be fluent in the language of the business; know, really know, what’s going on, for example if you get invited to go to an early morning workout at someone’s health club you may really have been invited for something other than doing an exercise class, a jog on the treadmill or having a business conversation in the sauna or steam room— are applicable in many venues of life, not just the film business. Thank you Madge.

  • Whitney Houston . For ten years, I and the Omega Psi Phi brothers of the Mighty, Mighty Eta Pi Chapter, served as volunteers at the Whitney Houston Foundation’s Holiday Party for women and children residing in shelters.The party was held in the Terrace Ballroom of Newark Symphony Hall. My frat brothers and I arranged the buses that brought the women and children from such nearby shelters as Isaiah’s House, Apostles House, to the party, and took them back to the shelters afterwards. During the party we assisted in serving food, distributing presents, and other tasks. The party included not only holiday music, food, beverages, a magician, Christmas tree, and Santa Claus, but also distribution of gifts by members of the Foundation such as Whitney and her mom Sissy, and such guests as Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee, and others. Given that the babe of Bethlehem was born in a manger, there was something very beautiful, and to me, significant in reaching out to these women and children in shelters at Christmas. I found myself remembering the Words from Matthew 25:40, “Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my Bretheren, you did it unto me.”  I will never forget the comment made one year by a woman as my frat brothers and I enthusiastically, and with great courtesy and caring, joined the diverse group of other volunteers in helping to make this event a success. The woman asked asked me “Who are you?” Since all the volunteers were wearing Whitney Houston Foundation for Children, Annual Christmas Party T-shirts, I replied, “Just a volunteer”. Looking at me, and then waiving her hand at me and my African-American frat brothers, she repeated her question emphasizing the last word, “No, who are you?” I replied, “We are brothers of Omega Psi Phi fraternity, from the Eta Pi chapter in Montclair.” Looking down the row of other women and children seated at her table, she looked up at me and then said the words that sent a chill up my spine, stilled my heart, and brought a tear to my eye: “We have never met Black men like you.”  Whitney, on behalf of all those mothers and children who were blessed by these events, and on behalf of all the volunteers who were able to give the gift of service at these events, thank you for providing the opportunity to “do unto the least of these”.

I was also invited to the New York City premiere of “The Preacher’s Wife”, starring Whitney, Denzel Washinton, Courtney B. Vance, Gregory Hines, Cissy Houston, and Loretta Devine. There was a reception after the premier, and a Mass Choir sang. Whitney joined them on stage, and we had church that night. The singing lifted us all up so high, that I thought I heard two people who were not of the Christian faith join in shouting “Thank You Jesus!” The singing that night included the soul stirring “I Go To The Rock”[6], “Joy To The World”[7], “I Love the Lord”[8]. It had the similar impact on me as Whitney’s ”I’m Every Woman”[9], “I Will Always Love You”[10], and her more recent “I Look To You”[11].  Thank you Whitney! And thank you to Toni Chambers, a friend and former colleague from the ITT Legal Department who became General Counsel for Nippy, Inc., and who opened the door for my participation in these events.

  • The musical group, Imajin. As a direct result of an introduction by entrepreneur Jerry Chambers, I became Director, Business Affairs, for NorJean Entertainment, an artist management firm headed by Norma Jean Wright[12] who worked with member of this group. It was nice for Imajin to give me a “shout out” recogntion  in the liner notes of the release above. That release contained their recording of “Shorty, You Keep Messin’ With My Mind”, that reached the top 40 on a billboard chart. Had the group not dissovled  I believe it could have been one of the top groups in the music industry. All four of the members played a musical instrument and could sing. Thank you Norma Jean, and thank you Imajin.
  • Sammy Davis Jr.  .  Since this reflection is about  drum majors and by implication about marching, it is appropriate to remember that Sammy not only marched for civil rights supporting Dr. King, but to remember Sammy’s own words about marching: ” I’ve been marching since I was 17, long before there was a Civil Rights Movement. I was marching through the lobby of the Waldorf-Astoria, of the Sands, the Fontainebleau, to a table at the Copa. And I marched alone.”

After a national search, I was selected as the first Executive Director of the Sammy Davis Jr. National Liver Institute. Here is a photo of Shirley Rhodes, Dean Sayles, Sammy, and the Liver Institute’s Scientific Director Caroll M. Leevy, M.D. making plans for a fundraiser for the Instiute.   Sammy said this about the Institute:“I have been involved in many things connected with the betterment and dignity of man. After being seriously ill with a liver ailment, I decided I wanted  to help directly eliminate the widespread suffering from liver disorders which I’ve found can affect all ages and economic groups. The National Liver Institute and its programs have my full support. Through them, we will inform others including future generations on how to better prevent, recognize and treat liver disease. I feel a mixture of great pride and humility that my name is associated with something so special.”

As Executive Director, and later Chief Operating Officer of the Institute, I met Sammy two times. The first time was shortly after my selection. The second time was at the dinner reception following “The Ultimate Event” concert given by Sammy, Liza Minnelli, and Frank Sinatra.  Sammy said this about The Ultimate Event tour: “Lord, thank you, for this, for the friends you’ve let me have, this wonderful life…I still don’t know why you want me here, and I’m not asking anymore ‘cause I know you ain’t never gonna tell me, but I hope I’m doing it the way you want me to…” I think those who saw the tour would have responded to Sammy, to Liza, and to Frank you were doing it the way He wanted you to because— to adapt a phrase from one of Frank’s most memorable songs—each of “you did it your way” and nobody did it better than the way you three did it together.

The next time I was present in the same location as Sammy was at his funeral. I want to focus on the first time, and share a little of the experience at the last time.

The first time is best related in this story-like format: Once again I was back in L.A. I had gone directly from the airport to Sammy’s business office in Beverly Hills. Shortly after arriving, Sammy’s manager Shirley Rhodes, said, “Let’s go, or we’ll be late.” Dean Sayles of Dean Sayles Enterprises, whose firm handled special events including fundraisers, and I got in Shirley’s car. As we drove up Sunset Boulevard past the Beverly Hills Hotel, I thought back to my days as Director of North American & Commonwealth Antipiracy operations for the Motion Picture Association of America, my breakfast and dinner meetings at the hotel with film studios employees, and how often I had driven this road heading to an antiipriacy meeting on the other side of the Canyon. Not far past the hotel, we made a right turn  off the road I usually traveled, and started up the road toward Sammy’s house. Shirely and Dean were giving me tips  for the meeting. Dean said, “Ron, you know I love you, don’t you?” I replied, “Yes Dean, I know”. She said, “Because I love you, I have to tell you something.” I said, “What do you have to tell me Dean?” She turned around, and looking me straight in the eyes with a steely look filled with mother love, Dean said, “Sometimes, you talk too much! We want this meeting to go well. So, when you meet Sammy, don’t  talk too much!” Looking down for a nanosecond to look inside myself, having to acknowledge that some people have thought of me as loquacious, and being unable to grab a fig leaf from any of the palm trees passing by our moving car,  I looked up and with a mischievous grin, I replied with one word: “Okay”. Shirley, Dean, and I all started laughing, because that one word reply conveyed I had got the message. It’s good when you know people are “messing” with your head but also giving you advice from their heart.

What struck me when we got to the entrance of the Davis home was the mezuzah[13] affixed to the doorway.  As I followed Shirley and Dean into the house, I reverently touched the Mezuzah (even though I am not Jewish) in recognition of the call to serve the Creator of the Universe with all our heart, mind, and soul, and in the spirit of Joshua 24:15.   I recalled Sammy’s words aboutbeing black and embracing Judaism “My people are my people. My religion is my religion. They are not interconnected. My people are first. I happen to be a Black Jew. I am first Black and the religion I have chosen is Judaism. That doesn’t mean that as a Black I agree with every other Black or that as a Jew I agree with every other Jew.” I also remembered the blessing that should be recited before the mezuzah is affixed to a doorpost.

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha’olam
Blessed are you, Lord, our God, sovereign of the universe
 
asher kidishanu b’mitz’votav v’tzivanu lik’bo’a m’zuzah
Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to affix a mezuzah

http://www.jewfaq.org/prayer/mezuzah.htm

I also saw these words on the side of the house: “This house welcomes all colors, races & religions as long as they have peace and love in their hearts.”A good message then and a good message now. 

When I met Sammy, I gave him a “laughing tree present” my daughter had made and which I had been able to collapse into my suitcase without too much damage. He smiled, because what impressed him was that I had brought something with love 3,000 miles as a gift. We had a wonderful meeting.

The third time I was in the same place as Sammy was at his funeral service. Sammy’s service was one of the most moving I have ever experienced. Willie Brown ,Speaker of the California Assembly and Chairman of the Board of  Sammy’s Liver Institute, spoke movingly about Sammy, and so did Gregory Hines  . On the way to the cemetary, I rode in the a car with Stephanie Mills  the singer- actress who had played Dorothy in the Broadway musical “The Wiz”, and we were both struck by the those who stopped in respect as the 300 cars in the funeral  procession passed. At the graveside in Forest Lawn Memorial Park, Rev. Jesse Jackson was one of those who officiated with Rabbi Allen Freehling. We were asked to hold hands as a prayer was said and when I opened my eyes, I looked and I had been holding hands with Stevie Wonder . Sammy was laid to rest with the other members of the Will Mastin Trio, in the Garden of Honor, a locked private area in the memorial park. Right after the internment, I went back to Sammy’s house for the repass. Here is a picture of me there with Treva Wilson.   In the house there was not one restroom for women and another for men, so the bathrooms in effect became unisex and folks were lined up to use  them. The one I was able to use had just run out of deodorizer but thankfully my use did not require using one. When I opened the door to come out the actress Loretta Swit  from the televsion series “Mash” rushed pass me to go in and said in a voice that was heard all over the first floor ” Thank goodness you didn’t stink the place up!” As Billy Crystal  started laughing, and other folks joined in, I silently  said to myself, “Thank you Jesus that I didn’t stink the place up, and that I  left the toilet seat down!”).

Sammy made a difference in the lives of a lot of people. I was one of them. I was blessed to have the opportunity to meet and work with Shirley, Dean, and Treva Wilson who became my sis-sis. Here is a photo she gave me.   Here are the words she wrote on it: “My dear brother. May God forever guide your footsteps and give you glimpses of your beauty along the way.l I love you. Your sister Treva.

I also was blessed to meet and share laughs with his sister Sammy’s sister Ramona back in New York.  Here is a photo of Altovise, Sammy’s mom Elvera  “Baby” Sanchez, Sammy, and Ramona. “Baby”, Ramona, I, and friends of Sammy would get together on the anniversary of Sammy’s passing. At these rememberances, we would not only talk about Sammy, but Ramona and I would  engage in food “challenges” that were like the tap challenges found in the movie “Tap”.  Though the story line in “Tap” is very thin, the tap dancing by Sammy, Harold Nicholas, Jimmy Slyde, Sandman Sims, Bunny Briggs, Steve Condos, Arthur Duncan, Pat Rico, Savion Glover, and Suzanne Douglas[14] is engaging. If you have never seen it, give yourself a special treat and watch the tap dancing, and especially the tap dance “challenge” in that movie ”. Here is the link to the “challenge”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhYC6pnBuWA. Here is link to the movie: http://www.crackle.com/c/Tap/Tap/2482551

I consider myself a pretty good cook. Ramona thought she could cook too. So we would have these food “challenges” about who could make the best paella. I asked her, “What seafood do you put in your paella?”  She answered: “Clams, shrimp, and lobster.” I asked, “Where do you get your seafood?” She said “At  Dagostinos” (the supermarket down the hill from the Skyview apartment complex in Riverdale where Ramona lived and where Geri and I first lived when we came to New York City).  I said  “I use the same ingredients, but mine are really fresh because I catch them myself in the ocean and bring them straight to my kitchen. Dagostino’s tries to get me to supply them!” I asked Ramona, “Do you put any meat in your paella?”. She replied, “Yes, I put chorizo, and chicken in.” I asked, “Is that all you put in?” She replied “Yes, what else do you use?” 

Having unknowingly walked stragiht into the trap I had set for her, I triumphantly smiled at Romona andsaid “I make my own chorizo, harvest the conch  I groww in my aquatic farm in the Caribbean, use calamari from Atlantis, small pieces of goat from Mount Olympus, crayfish from old New Orleans, Targ from the Klingon home Qo’noS, le-metya from Vulcan, and unicorn from the Orion nebula

! And I pay for it with pixie dust from Never-Never Land!” She laughed until her sides ached. And then, responding to my culinary “challenge”, and with a smile she cut me right back  with: “I’m not stupid. I know theree is no such thing as a unicorn. But one other thing. Peter Pan moved into 5800 Skyview last week with Tinkerbell, so you can forget about anymore Pixie dust!” 

After Sammy was diagnosed with throat cancer, my son and daughter wrote him a note saying they were praying for him and Sammy sent back a very nice thank you acknowledgment note. After discussion with Dr. Leevy, Shirley, and Dean, it was decided to go forward with the annual fundraising event for the Liver Institute and the scientific symposium that always accompanied it.  Shirley reached out to Bobby Short, who agreed to be one of the performers at the fundraiser. Dean reached out to Lionel Hampton, and she and I met with him in his apartment near Lincoln Center.  Lionel also agreed to play with his orchestra at the fundraiser.  During the course of our conversation, Lionel shared with us that he had taught Sammy how to play the drums. As reflected in this video, he taught him well. http://bcwtj.forumotion.com/t817-sammy-davis-jr-playing-drums.  In planning the fundraiser, I reached out to Rabbi Marc Tanenbaum and met with him in his New York City apartment to explain the work of the Institute and to ask him to give the invocation/blessing at the event. Though the Rabbi had to decline because the event was being held on the Jewish Sabbath, he suggested that I give the blessing instead. When I responded that I was not an ordained person of the cloth, he said he felt I was a kindred spirit.   I wrote a blessing, and asked him to review it since I would be delivering the blessing in his stead. He did. The blessing used phrases like “Master of the Universe” and “Adonai”, but not the word “G-d” in keeping with what I understood to be in keeping with the prayers that those of the Jewish faith lift up.

This was the third time that my life had been touched by interaction with a Rabbi.  The first time was when I was on the search committee that brought William Sloan Coffin to Riverside Church.  In the course of that process, Bill related that he had problems dealing with his divorces and wondered if a congregation such as Riverside’s might as well. He related that in a conversation with a Rabbi, the Rabbi asked him, given Bill’s faith, was divorce or any sin beyond the pale of G-d’s forgiveness. Wow.

Since I was present when this process was occurring, my relating it now breaches no confidences. How it is related in Warren Goldstein’s book, William Sloan Coffin Jr.: A Holy Impatience is very, very close to what occurred when the Search Committee met with Bill:

“Coffin called back, agreeing to an interview and [Edith] Lerigo (chair of the search committee) followed up. Coffin did not think much of his chances. ‘Well, that’s very sweet of you’ he told Valerie Russell, ‘but I can’t imagine a church taking a guy with my marital record, you know. Twice—pretty bad.’ Unfazed she told him, ‘I don’t think many churches could, but Riverside might.’ Lovett had warned him that several members of the committee ’ will be  concerned with your marital record.’ But when Coffin got to the interview, he remembered the questions as ‘pretty damn dull’—mostly about administration–until one member asked him to describe ‘a situation where you had a religious crisis.’ Finally, ‘an interesting question,’ he thought. ‘So I figured I might as will talk about the divorce [from Eva]. They’re not bringing it up, and obviously it’s central to all this. And it was a religious crisis, so I talked about the divorce’, arguing that divorce was a sin but not one that lay ‘beyond the pale of forgiveness.’ They wondered whether he could ‘be a minister with this kind of marital record.’ He maintained that people learned more from failure than from success.”

For me, a much more moving and insightful exploration of interfaith interaction focusing on divorce and sin was provided by Bill in the following from in his book, Once To Every Man, describing his own thoughts about failure and then relating a conversation with Rabbi Heschel, at pages 289-290:

“Of what was I afraid? Of failure itself. I had never been taught how to deal with failure—not really. Rather, I had been groomed to succeed, and since childhood, I had been pretty lucky. And beyond personal failure, to fail as a Christian minister, to be a Christian minister who couldn’t keep his own marriage together—that was a possibility too threatening to contemplate. In those days a divorced minister was almost unheard of.”

“Slipping his hand under my arm, he began ‘I understand, my friend, that you have been through much suffering.’ ‘That’s right, Father Abraham, it’s been hell. It still is.’ ‘You should have called me, ‘ he said. ‘You were in Los Angeles all summer.’ ‘You still could have called me.’ ’Well, I didn’t want to bother you. Besides, I had other friends I could talk to and I don’t like talking about such things over the phone.’ ‘That was a mistake. I could have helped you.’ Irked by his self-assurance, I stopped and faced him. ‘All right, how could you have helped me?’ As I had seen him do so often he raised his shoulders and his hands palms up. ‘I would have told you about my father, the great Hasidic rabbi, blessed by his memory, who too was divorced. You see, you Christians are so vexed by your perfectionism. It is always your undoing.’ He continued to talk in this vein, and I felt the tears starting down my checks. He was so right. And it was nice that a Jew was reminding a Christian that his salvation lay not in being sinless, but in accepting his forgiveness. Without pausing, he wiped my face with his handkerchief. Then after again assuring me that God still loved me—‘even as I do, and maybe more’—he said. By the end of the year…I was learning far more from my failure than from any previous success. I was also beginning to accept my forgiveness, although that too was costly. (Sometimes I think guilt is the last stronghold of pride.) And finally, I was beginning to draw strength from a long-held conviction that bitterness is so diminishing an emotion that it should be resisted like poison. Ideally, a man in pain should widen his sympathy to include others undergoing similar experiences. I apparently succeeded in this, as several people commented on the greater sensitivity they found in the prayers and sermons I gave that fall.”

  The second time my life was touched by interaction with a Rabbi was when I was invited to speak at a synagogue in Montclair. The invitation had been extended as a result of my earlier visit to the synagogue in November on the anniversary of Kristallnacht, explaining that I felt a moral obligation to be present when I thought about the silence of those who did not stand up when this event first occurred in Nazi Germany and Austria.  The next time my life was touched was when Lenora introduced me to Linda Rosenberg, the wife of a rabbi, and I shared with her that I was reading this wonderful book, “Sitting At The Feet of Rabbi Jesus”. http://ourrabbijesus.com/files/2009/12/RabbiJesus_samptxt.pdf.  When Linda asked me what the book was about and why I was reading it, I quoted from the press release about the book: “Matzah. Yom Kippur. Hanakkuh. Classic trappings of the Jewish faith, and the Jewish faith only, correct? Well, yes and no. If you’re a Christian, these customs are a part of your faith, too. That’s because Jesus was Jewish, versed in ancient Hebrew texts, observant of traditional Jewish holidays and feasts, and devoted to Jewish prayers. Why is this so important? Because as a first-century Jew, Jesus’ own worldview and culture holds startling insights for today’s faith community – and Christians especially. [In this book]bestselling Christian author Ann Spangler and scholar Lois Tverberg explore the Jewish roots of the Christian faith. As more Christians seek a richer historical understanding of their faith, and the revolutionary figure who started it, the Jewishness of Jesus cannot be ignored.” Linda and I  have had several wonderful conversations about our respective faiths, similarities and differences.

I lost track of Shirley after she had her transplant. I lost track of Dean after she sold Dean Sayles Enterprises. I lost track of Treva after she moved from Culver City. Ramona passed. All of you had an impact on my life. Shalom and thank you Sammy. Thank you Shirley. Thank you Dean. Thank you Treva. Thank you Ramona.

Commitment and the perspective of Time 

It would be impossible for me to end this reflection without sharing some thoughts about committment and the  turning point in my life that occured one February, namely the February when I met the woman who today is my wife.                 

Commitments are not just things you make. They are things you live. Daily.  How your life reflects or falls short of your commitments is a story sometimes of triumph, sometimes of tragedy, sometimes of struggle and success, sometimes of failure and frustration. But it’s a story that you write every day. And a very deep part of that story is this belief: If you keep pressing on, trusting in the Lord and standing on the promises, that we are transformed by our journey, and spiritually become “water-walkers” crossing over to the better side.

I found that commitment was also the subject of a recent message In Charles Stanley’s God’s Way, Day by Day. Dr. Stanley writes: “A commitment is a pledge, a statement of sure promise.  The value of any commitment is based upon two things: 1) The ability of the promise maker to fulfill the promise. 2) The integrity of the promise maker.  Though Dr. Stanley does not usually sounding a bit like Corbin on Contracts, in this instance he did and it reminded me of lessons from contracts and life.  And lest someone think Dr. Stanley has become a lawyer, the reference for his words today is Deuteronomy 7:9: “The Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations, with those who love Him.”  Dr. Stanley observes: “God certainly qualifies as One who will stand behind His commitments on both accounts. He has all the wisdom, power, and ability necessary to fulfill His promises to us. He also has proven integrity—God has always done what He has said He would do.” Stand on His promises.

 

In February of my first year of law school, I recall standing on Mass Ave near Trowbridge Street in Cambridge and praying that while I was in school I would meet the person who would be my lifelong companion. Someone who was intellectually gifted, physically gorgeous, emotionally compatible with me. And for those of you who know me, you are probably thinking brother you should have just asked for two out of three, because once you added that last one you were really pushing the outer limits.  Well, at the end of my first year I was drafted, went into the National Guard, went on active duty, got out too late to begin second year of law school in February and worked in Roxbury Legal Service until September. But the day I got out of the Army, I did something I had never done before. I went over to the Law School, walked through Harkness Commons, and just as I was going out the door, looked to my left, and there she was. This beautiful woman, whose laughter was like twinkling stars with sound, sitting there with Noah Griffin. Just my luck, I thought, a gorgeous woman comes to the law school while I am away and Noah’s got her. I started to go out the door, heard her laugh again, and came back in. I looked, and said, Noah’s a friend, but not that good a friend. I went over and said hi to Noah and he introduced me to Geri. (When you get out of the Army, you have incredibly short hair, and by all accounts are remarkable underwhelming for a variety of reasons, one of which is your old clothes don’t fit because you lost weight. Geri would later confirm this but being a sensitive person she hid her initial disappointment in meeting a person about which she had heard so much, mainly from men at the law school who had been the beneficiaries of several small parties held in my off campus apartment. These small parties had been transformed over time and telling and can only be compared to catching a very small fish that becomes known as The Leviathan! In any event, Noah and Geri had both graduated from Fisk and were only friends. Geri was telling Noah about the surprise birthday party that had been thrown for her a few weeks earlier.  Noah is still a friend,  was the first person we called when Geri and I got engaged, and was best man in our wedding.

 A few days later I later asked Geri out on a date. (I called her at 8 am on a Saturday morning because during my first year we had class at 9 am on Saturday. Though Geri accepted my invitation to go out to hear Hugh Masakela at Lennies on the Turnpike, she told me never to call her again that early on a Saturday morning as the school had abolished Saturday morning classes!) She was reluctant to go out with me because of the stories she heard about parties I threw during my first year of law school. (I did not throw these by myself. My roommate Bob Holmes was my accomplice!) Those stories were total, bald face lies told by people trying to discredit me. Ok, not total lies, but highly exaggerated.  But as we look back to those Days, Geri and I both realize that when we met was a special time, and under circumstances that permitted us first to just be friends. And finding someone with whom you can be a best friend, is truly a treasure. 

During our time in Cambridge, I was the first pre-law advisor at Currier House, Radcliffe, and Geri had a corporate appointment at Jordan W, also on the Radcliffe campus. We had some great times, and met lifelong friends like Ilona Henderson, Ken Olden, and Peter and Marlene MacLeish. After Law school, Geri and I went to B-school and were house parents at Simmons College. Then we moved to NYC and Geri started working at the law firm of White & Case and I started working in ITT’s World Headquarters Legal Department.  And that led to meeting more lifelong friends like Lorna Millife and Brian and Ann Barker in the UK, and later when I was with the Motion Picture Association of America, meeting Brian Wilkerson in New Zealand. Thinking back to our graduate school days, I think Geri and I are one of the few couples still together. (Hear! Hear! To Peter and Marlene and to Brian and Anne.) Some would say that just shows Geri is either a Saint or a glutton for punishment. People who are a bit wiser, would recognize that commitment entails dealing with change.  Geri’s mom and dad and my mom and dad are now among that great crowd of witnesses mentioned in Hebrews 11, and we were blessed that they were all present when Geri and I got married. (A year later, my dad passed). Geri and I wrote our own wedding ceremony. I also have a sound tape of our wedding ceremony.
                                             

It takes a lot of self knowledge to make a commitment to yourself and keep it. It takes even more to make a commitment to someone else, and work through what that commitment entails. When you commit yourself to the Lord, and also to being someone else’s brother or sister in Christ, you are embracing  a lot. And we don’t always have the emotional, mental, or physical equivalent of a GPS to guide us.  But I believe that God answers prayers and responds to commitment. It is my prayer that His perfect  will is done in all things, at all times, in all circumstances.

 Commitment  Captured in Quotes

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”- Mignon McLaughlin

 “Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the ‘right stuff’ to turn our dreams into reality.” James Womack.

 “If you don’t make a total commitment to whatever you’re doing, then you start looking to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking. It’s tough enough getting that boat to shore with everybody rowing, let alone when a guy stands up and starts putting his life jacket on.” – Lou Holtz

 “The wonderful thing about saints is that they were human. They lost their tempers, got hungry, scolded God, were egotistical or impatient in their turns, made mistakes and regretted them. Still they went on doggedly blundering toward heaven.” – Phyllis McGinley

 “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.”- Erma Bombeck

[4]  Sharon Daloz Parks, “What Artists Know About Leadership”, Harvard Business School, Working Knowledge, November 7, 2005, excerpted from her book Leadership Can Be Taught, Harvard Business School Press, 2005., http://hbswk.hbs.edu/archive/5076.html

[5] “Madge received “an Emmy Award nomination for her role as Belle in the miniseries Roots. She went on to a long-running stint … as nurse Ernestine Shoop on the series Trapper John, M.D. opposite Pernell Roberts. She received three Emmy nominations for her work on the show, and critic Donald Bogle praised her for “maintaining her composure and assurance no matter what the script imposed on her… Sher played Queen Aoleon opposite James Earl Jones‘ King Jaffe Joffer in the Eddie Murphy comedy Coming to America. Later, she would reteam with Jones as King and Queen for the role of Sarabi, Simba’s mother, in the blockbuster Disney animated film The Lion King (1994). The film became one of the best selling titles ever on home video. The two also collaborated on the series Gabriel’s Fire, which earned Sinclair an Emmy in 1991 for Best Supporting Actress in a Dramatic Series. In 1994, Sinclair also played a supporting role in the short-lived ABC-TV sitcom Me and the Boys, which starred Steve Harvey…In her brief role as the captain of the USS Saratoga in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, she was the first female starship captain to appear in Star Trek. Years later, she played Geordi La Forge‘s mother, captain of the USS Hera, in Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s “Interface“.A capable and versatile businesswoman as well, she was an art dealer, chairwoman of the women’s clothing manufacturer Madge Walters Sinclair Inc., and owner of the Action Income Tax Service.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madge_Sinclair

[12] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norma_Jean_Wright .(“Norma Jean Wright was the lead vocalist of the soul, R&B and disco group Chic, from 1977 to 1978.Most notably, Norma Jean Wright sang lead vocal on Chic‘s debut album, Chic, which includes the hits “Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah)”  and Everybody Dance. She left Chic in to  begin a solo career, billed as “Norma Jean”.  She scored her first R&B Top 20 hit, “Saturday” (#15), from her debut album, Norma Jean on the Bearsville Records label, produced by Bernard Edwards and Nile Rodgers. She scored her second (and last) R&B Top 20 hit, “High Society”  also produced by the Chic team. Other popular songs of Norma Jean Wright, include the following: “Sorcerer” from debut album Norma Jean , “Having a Party” from Norma Jean, “I Like Love” from Norma Jean, “Hold Me Lonely Boy” , “Love Attack” “Shot in the Dark” ,”Every Bit of This Love”. In 2004 “I Like Love” would be sampled by the British Dance project Solitaire for their club hit “I Like Love (I Love Love).”Norma Jean Wright also sang as a backing vocalist with the following artists: C+C Music Factory, Constina, Randy Crawford, Will Downing, Aretha Franklin, Fantasy, Debbie Gibson, Nelson Rangell, Luther Vandross, Madonna, Sister Sledge, Nick Scotti & Freddie Jackson.’0

[13] Wikepedia informs us that :” A mezuzah (Hebrew: מְזוּזָה‎ “doorpost”) (plural: mezuzot (מְזוּזוֹת)) is a piece of parchment (often contained in a decorative case) inscribed with specified Hebrew verses from the Torah (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21). These verses comprise the Jewish prayer “Shema Yisrael“, beginning with the phrase: “Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is One”.A mezuzah is affixed to the doorframe in Jewish homes to fulfill the mitzvah (Biblical commandment) to inscribe the words of the Shema “on the doorposts of your house” (Deuteronomy 6:9). Some interpret Jewish law to require a mezuzah on every doorway in the home apart from bathrooms, and closets too small to qualify as rooms;[1] others view it as necessary only to place one in the front doorway. The parchment is prepared by a qualified scribe (a “sofer stam“) who has undergone many years of meticulous training, and the verses are written in black indelible ink with a special quill pen. The parchment is then rolled up and placed inside the case.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mezuzah

[14]  In addition to being a beautiful and accomplished actress and singer,  Suzanne Douglas is also a  dedicated golfer. I had the pleasure of meeting her at a fundraising golf tournament held at Weequahic Golf Course in Newark New Jersey. Suzanne won the Image Award for Best Supporting Actress for her performance in Tap. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0235336/resume

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